i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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