and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
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Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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