You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
