More tranny stories later!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
