Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
