Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
