I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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