I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
