White coat. Heels.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
