why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i've created a new STD.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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