It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
my sisters under your porch take her home
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
