i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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