Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.

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  (717): WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night. http://tfl.nu/710a
  Replies (20) Good night (1267) Bad night (1683)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk

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  (301): Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk http://tfl.nu/lzse
  Replies (20) Good night (5868) Bad night (769)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  It'll hurt less than being alone

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  (407): my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much (1-407): It'll hurt less than being alone http://tfl.nu/6ydx
  Replies (12) Good night (4798) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth

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  (860): He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth http://tfl.nu/3n80
  Replies (54) Good night (767) Bad night (10481)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..

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  (248): She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls.. http://tfl.nu/aren
  Replies (5) Good night (2661) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka

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  (423): Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka http://tfl.nu/w8nb
  Replies (9) Good night (1263) Bad night (3864)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  you should give me head with plastic fangs in

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  (618): you should give me head with plastic fangs in http://tfl.nu/ku60
  Replies (59) Good night (2453) Bad night (8877)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.

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  (724): i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook. http://tfl.nu/t8ot
  Replies (11) Good night (4527) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.

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  (804): My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am. http://tfl.nu/wlcl
  Replies (5) Good night (2819) Bad night (1464)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening

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  (321): I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening http://tfl.nu/wlci
  Replies (4) Good night (1392) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.

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  (609): Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him. http://tfl.nu/iwv9
  Replies (2) Good night (1128) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"

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  (614): don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can" http://tfl.nu/nm9b
  Replies (5) Good night (826) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...

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  (619): So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush... http://tfl.nu/5wkj
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies

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  (775): I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies http://tfl.nu/5tdh
  Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority

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  (506): I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority http://tfl.nu/l5i9
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (342)

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