I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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