Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
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