Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs. http://tfl.nu/6isi
  Replies (14) Good night (2840) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.

  (916): View more from California

  You're drunk. Make complete sentences.

  (925): View more from California

  It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it. (916): You're drunk. Make complete sentences. (925): It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand. http://tfl.nu/78xl
  Replies (13) Good night (2558) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks" http://tfl.nu/9b0l
  Replies (14) Good night (1384) Bad night (3296)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?" http://tfl.nu/fz6y
  Replies (26) Good night (1031) Bad night (4569)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train" http://tfl.nu/x0cf
  Replies (32) Good night (3473) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  And that worked?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night. (1-919): And that worked? (919): 9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards. http://tfl.nu/moso
  Replies (70) Good night (13747) Bad night (1649)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'. http://tfl.nu/12fd
  Replies (9) Good night (824) Bad night (2401)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning.... http://tfl.nu/jakw
  Replies (5) Good night (2726) Bad night (1549)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying? http://tfl.nu/tphe
  Replies (12) Good night (4274) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace. http://tfl.nu/pdfz
  Replies (7) Good night (1794) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob http://tfl.nu/pg2m
  Replies (13) Good night (2804) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him. http://tfl.nu/gfad
  Replies (7) Good night (1585) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot. http://tfl.nu/o7h8
  Replies (2) Good night (1472) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways. http://tfl.nu/pmkq
  Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced http://tfl.nu/qaoy
  Replies (2) Good night (887) Bad night (401)

Randomize