Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  After last night I still want u

  (810): View more from Michigan

  But please keep that on the DL

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  (810): After last night I still want u (810): But please keep that on the DL http://tfl.nu/ivgw
  Replies (5) Good night (724) Bad night (946)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.

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  (218): Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job. http://tfl.nu/1e2u
  Replies (14) Good night (2814) Bad night (1022)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.

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  (412): Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record. http://tfl.nu/e6sm
  Replies (8) Good night (4751) Bad night (811)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.

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  (856): this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes. http://tfl.nu/955p
  Replies (5) Good night (935) Bad night (3237)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss

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  (781): My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss http://tfl.nu/yqt0
  Replies (17) Good night (8552) Bad night (977)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.

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  (814): He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well. http://tfl.nu/fer2
  Replies (13) Good night (2443) Bad night (3914)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.

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  (334): Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram. http://tfl.nu/7u9p
  Replies (2) Good night (1611) Bad night (718)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.

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  (303): I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes. http://tfl.nu/g3e8
  Replies (4) Good night (1024) Bad night (393)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.

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  (312): I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises. http://tfl.nu/7cml
  Replies (18) Good night (1856) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth

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  (512): We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth http://tfl.nu/5znv
  Replies (5) Good night (564) Bad night (900)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.

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  (605): Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction. http://tfl.nu/iqla
  Replies (4) Good night (853) Bad night (1434)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?

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  (919): I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright? http://tfl.nu/bgy5
  Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.

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  (440): Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me. http://tfl.nu/gd3r
  Replies (0) Good night (806) Bad night (317)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.

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  (515): I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle. http://tfl.nu/dlxr
  Replies (6) Good night (767) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels

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  (440): My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels http://tfl.nu/oz5l
  Replies (11) Good night (378) Bad night (424)

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