Texts From Last Night

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  (951): View more from California

  my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today

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  (951): my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today http://tfl.nu/mtcw
  Replies (11) Good night (774) Bad night (1236)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.

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  (416): Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine. http://tfl.nu/wzgr
  Replies (4) Good night (2206) Bad night (558)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We call that spaghetti Os

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  (207): I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it (617): We call that spaghetti Os http://tfl.nu/dgrn
  Replies (33) Good night (10318) Bad night (1015)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.

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  (910): no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender. http://tfl.nu/cz6b
  Replies (16) Good night (596) Bad night (1871)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!

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  (309): i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!! http://tfl.nu/asa6
  Replies (51) Good night (7022) Bad night (732)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.

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  (517): I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair. http://tfl.nu/elj5
  Replies (17) Good night (1500) Bad night (4266)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.

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  (586): She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/fg6t
  Replies (13) Good night (6673) Bad night (1565)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse

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  (403): I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse http://tfl.nu/d3ev
  Replies (20) Good night (8563) Bad night (854)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..

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  (902): i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this.. http://tfl.nu/inhx
  Replies (14) Good night (1448) Bad night (3825)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.

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  (570): Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas. http://tfl.nu/sn85
  Replies (5) Good night (2083) Bad night (508)
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  (555): View more from

  Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone

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  (555): Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone http://tfl.nu/9aqw
  Replies (5) Good night (810) Bad night (361)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..

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  (727): Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter.. http://tfl.nu/a2wm
  Replies (0) Good night (862) Bad night (342)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.

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  (404): Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up. http://tfl.nu/ge7g
  Replies (4) Good night (415) Bad night (813)
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  (707): View more from California

  Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?

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  (707): Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick? http://tfl.nu/yjm9
  Replies (8) Good night (292) Bad night (669)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.

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  (330): This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus. http://tfl.nu/v7g7
  Replies (1) Good night (246) Bad night (90)

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