Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
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He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
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Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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