Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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