I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
