question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
