New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
