Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize