I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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