So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
