Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
