am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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