I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Randomize
