Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize