a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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