Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
