Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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