I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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