why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
