we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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