You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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