69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I love you.
Bad choice
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
