how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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