Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
