he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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