420 ftw
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
