I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
