My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
