I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
