You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
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He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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