how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
