Grow some girl-balls and come out already
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
