My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
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Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
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Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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