ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
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