He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize