I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
