how can u be prego again
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
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So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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