He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
