These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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