That's intense
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
