I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
These tits shall not be calmed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
