Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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