I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
