I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
