whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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