He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
