Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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