With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
