I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
