she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
