Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm getting married
To pizza
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I did not marry a roomba.
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