The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
