If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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