I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
