Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.