If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh god it's open bar.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper