Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
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Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?